just needed to vent... feeling heartbroken

Sarah • I am 27,happily married for 7 yrs, 2 kids Bailey (7 yrs) and Axten (7 mo) and 3yr old puppy named Spike
so my mom ended up not staying with us even though i really wanted her to i am 5 days pp from a c section and have been home 2 whole days counting today and its just like i thiught... my husband went to go "work" on his derby car. hes been gone since about 4. in that time i made supper, took care of the baby and have attempted to help my 7 yr old woth whatever she needs... i know id have to so it sooner or later but i was hoping id have at least 2 or so more days....i know single mom do this but i shouldnt have to.. because im not a single mom.  he hasnt been waking up with the baby hardly at all and when he does he seems pissed. he wanted so bad to prove himself that he could handle taking csre of me and in reality ive been taking care of myself and the baby and our daughter... all hes proving is that i cant rely on him. im exhausted from taking care of the baby 24/7. i think he held the baby a total of 10 min before giving him back to me. im numb... im sad and lonely.... thought i could do this wotthout antidepressants but im not so sure i can... hes so distant i dont even feel like he loves me anymore... im not sure what to do.....