Mixed feelings- sex and work and exhaustion
After an amazing perfectly-paced-for-us year and a half with my SO, living together, budgeting, making companies and games and going to entrepreneur meet ups...
He has been severely burned out for two weeks... He used to have such drive...
No more making games, no chatting with me, really not a lot of effort anywhere.
We talked about it today, and he wants to stop being the laborer in everything he does. He wants to lead and grow teams instead.
I understood and gave him encouragement, so he was feeling a lot better.
BUT
tonight, he finally wanted some sexy time with me, but I had gotten used to him being out of the mood for weeks.
He tried to get me to initiate, but I couldn't get myself at all excited about it.
After laying in silence awkwardly, he mentioned how he doesn't enjoy sexy time as much as he thought he would, especially after beating his battle against porn for a decade.
But it takes sooooo much effort and changing of his brain from work to play, and to get going, and he'd rather be a partner with me than an instructor. As if I don't do anything or ever initiate.
I had NO idea how much those words would hurt me. Physical Touch and Service are my love languages, so sex is how I show him I love him, and it's not like it's easy for me either, but I really wish he felt the same way!!
I know he doesn't mean to say he doesn't love me, but what the heck do I say to that?
He's normally a solutions guy, but this time he just ended with "it's not a big deal. I'm sure we'll find what works for us eventually."
Is he bringing his work feelings into our relationship, or Am I being overly emotional? Gosh, I'm not even on my period right now...
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