I feel like I'm in shock. This is my forth miscarriage. I feel numb. I don't know how to react other than cry. I miscarried November 2015, March 2016, May 2016 and today. I have been to several specialist. We have no infertility issue, but I have a carrying the baby issue. Found out I had a blood clotting disorder and started shots. I found out i was pregnant right after having another devestating miscarriage. We were on cloud 9. This was suppose to be the one. The baby that makes it. The baby I get to hold and snuggle. The baby I get to kiss. The baby I get to wake up at 3 in the morning to feed and love on. And in a moment it was ripped right from me. Like someone sucked the air out of my lungs. In the blink of an eye my baby was gone. Out of all the miscarriages this one made it almost a week longer. We were so sure this was a good sign and our baby was going to be perfect. My heart is broken. I'm mentally and physically drained. It's so easy for people or mother that have never experienced this to say it's ok, it happens and keep trying. But when you have to cry every time you go to the bathroom cause you feel like your flushing your baby away.....how do get over that? And to go through it not once but 4 times now. My husband and I want a baby so bad. But the nightmares and mental battles with each pregnancy never stop. And to feel like it's my fault and what did I do.....the questions...the not understanding along with the physical pain. The cramps..the bleeding...I don't know how to recover when you have become this broken.....