I'm Scared

I'm 42, I have 3 beautiful children here 16, 12 and 4. I had 4 miscarriages before the 4 yr old.

And, We have one angel that left us at 20 weeks along in 2014. I didn't deal well with losing her! The reason why was never found, which made it even harder.

My doctor said I would have another baby before I was 41- that came and went.

I convinced myself that it was for the best and that there was reason it hadn't happened.....I tried to move on, loving the children I have even more.

In the past several months, I started experiencing symptoms and assumed at my age, I was premenopausal, and have tried to cope with finality of that, image my surprise to discover that I'm almost 15 weeks pregnant??!!!!!!

I'm trying to be positive, but there is a cloud of great, apprehension and doubt each day. I pray harder than ever before and look and my ever constant puking as a sign that it's still there........ wish me luck, send prayers or positive thoughts and let me know of happy endings if anyone has had similar experiences and can share their rainbow baby stories with me.