I'm so tired of trying

I'm honestly so tired of TTC. It's been 18 months now since my ectopic and still nothing. It's just so heartbreaking to get so excited every month then get bfns. You would think getting pregnant would be so much easier at 19 but apparently not. Even with all the charting, and research, and testing. Nothing. This is the first month my husband and I have taken a break from trying and it's almost as bad as getting negatives. It's making me so bitter that my friends and sister can accidentally get pregnant but I can't for the life of me!! I finally have a fertility appointment Tuesday, and I'm worried that I won't be able to have kids. This is all just so frustrating. I'm sorry y'all I just needed to vent honestly.