Just need to vent

Hey!. I'm 25 years old and I've been with my partner 9 years next week. Hes my only sexual partner. The first year of our relationship was amazing then a year in to it he got really poorly. For 3 years after that we didn't have any intimacy at all.then he wanted a baby so we tried and it took 4 years after for us to concieve... he always said he suffered with erectile dysfunction due to his illness and He refuses to get help. And now suffered witj severe mentsl health issues. My partner keeps day I g he would love a little girl and keeps promising me and our 3 year old a new baby( he says our son Is the best thing ever and is keeping him alive day by day) then when the time comes to 'try' for a baby he fobs me off with excuses and tells me he's too I'll to do anything but well try again 'next month'..... next month comes and the same happens. Or he'll say he's coming to bed and never attempt to come to bed. I feel as though he can't bear to be near me. He never wants to talk to me or cuddle me or come to bed with me at night to sleep. I feel so alone and unwanted and unloved. I have no family he and my son are the only family I have. He doesn't like me having many friends... im 25 anfd I have 2 friends by the way.. I can never do anytjing to please him all I seem to do I'd agrivate him constantly and I feel like giving up on him I don't want too because I love him so much. But I need loving in return and made to feel wanted... hes got plenty of male friends who brags about sexual relation and can get hard watching porn ot talking dirty... just not to me...... i do everything i can to try plesse hiid do anything for him..... sorry for rambling I just needed to vent 😐 please don't say anything if you've nothing nice to say.....