Can you call this a relationship anymore?

Question

I love my partner to bits but it does feel like we're in a relationship anymore.
We live together and I have a 11 year old that my partner treats like his own. 
But it doesn't feel like a relationship anymore, he play his PC from the minute he's gets up which is usually around 2 pm till he goes to bed at around 4 am. In the mean time in up with my son do all the housework, shopping, cooking etc. I spend most of the day on my own and when he is up I only get a few kisses wen he needs the toilet else otherwise he just talks to find friends online and doesn't bother with me. I feel more like his servant than his gf, I'm really unsure what to do. I'm starting to think of be better of just me and my son.

Answer

This is something that should be addressed, not just up and left. I suggest that you tell him that video games do not take time from the family. If he's playing till 4 am, he's getting in plenty of game time while the rest of the family is asleep. So from the time he wakes up, till the time YOU go to bed, he should be with the family and helping around the house. This is what a man should be doing. You husband and I have this agreement. I go to bed at 9 and he stays up playing video games. But he doesn't touch his games till after I'm asleep.

Answer

It sounds like he has an addiction. You're feeling the way you are because you are being neglected. Talk to him. Maybe you guys can come to an arrangement where he only plays for maybe an hour a night while you read a magazine or do something of your choice. Also clearly he is sleeping so late he's not waking til the afternoon. That's crazy!!! He might need a therapist and you prob both need a couples therapist. Try to talk to him in a serious and sad kind of way and not in an angry judgmental kind of way ( though you are totally justified in acting that way) and tell him that if he keeps choosing that game over his family he won't have a family to ignore any more

Answer

Does he not work? How is he supporting himself? Are you supporting him? Either way he needs a kick up the ass. These things should also be discussed with the person in question since no one here can fix the issue for you. If you love him, want a relationship with him, etc. then go and speak to him.

Answer

I went through this in the beginning of my relationship with my hubby. I had a child from my first marriage he treated like his own (still does).

I think he was depressed and overwhelmed so he needed an escape. Going from bachelor to instant dad was a tough transition for him. While I understood his feelings, I was not okay with his coping method.

Being mad didn't work. Begging for him to stop playing his game didn't work. It just made him resentful.

What did work was first giving the effort he gave to the family. Meaning I stopped including him, stopped cooking for him, cleaning for him, stopped doing his laundry... All caring for his day to day stopped. I told him matter of family that when he was ready to be a partner again, I'd be ready, too, but that I wasn't going to wait forever. That wasn't very effective.

My next step was to pack him a bag. I let him know his gaming habits were a deal breaker. The sad truth was that my son and didn't fit into his busy gaming schedule. Unacceptable.

So, he and his computer moved into a bachelor pad.

This gave me time to figure out how to talk about it in a way he could hear me. Not in a way where he felt his only recourse was to defend himself.  That was probably key to getting across my feelings about his behavior. We were able to work through his issues together after him being out of the house for a week. It was so hard, but worth it.

10 years later and we're so much stronger.

Answer

My husband is exactly the same. I find myself feeling lonely a lot lately then I think to myself I'm married I should be feeling lonely..... This past week I've been so upset about it, it makes me so mad that at my days off I see him once or twice. I always tell myself it's ok because he needs his time but feeling lonely in a marriage can be a huge problem.... Thanks for your post sorry I can't offer any help

Answer

Sounds like a marriage to me lol you can't change him. Talk to him and express you fustration

Can you call this a relationship anymore?

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