Advice....

Cheyanna
So Monday I left my husband, we have a handsome baby boy that will be 1 the 20th... I left because I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take his anger- always yelling and cussing at me for my son having toys in the floor from playing. I left because he doesn't spend time with us, he's always playing xbox when he's not at work. I could take him not helping with our son anymore. Then what topped it off I found out he was talking to another girl from work (2nd girl he's been caught messaging). Well, it's been 3 days now and our messages are mostly talking about what we will do if we do divorce or him saying he misses me etc. well last night I saw my ex and I kissed him out of anger... Then my husband said he was wanting to kill himself (I haven't told him about kissing my ex) and I freaked out and told him that this weekend he can come to my dads (2 and half hours away) and go with us to the amusement park and we can see how things will go. A part of me wants to stay with him and another part wants to be done... I'm so lost, confused, and idk what to do. He refuses marriage counseling.