I'm meeting with my old best friend. I've known him since the summer before my senior year of high school. We had something very special even though we were just friends. He admitted that he was in love with me during a period where my bf and I had broken up for months. After that I moved away to college and my bf decided to go to the same school so I ended up getting back together with him. I wasn't allowed to see or talk to the other guy anymore when we got back together. Then our relationship started getting abusive. He's never hit me. But he's squeezed me and shaken me and thrown me down on the bed in locks. I know it sounds stupid to you guys probably, but it kind of always was my fault. I had major panick attacks and he just didn't know how to react. Anyways I don't really love him anymore. It's been fading for a while now. I recently got in touch with my old best friend and we've been texting about how much we've missed each other. We're meeting tomorrow and I'm so excited! I just have to do it behind my bf's back. I know it's not fair to my bf but I don't know how to get rid of him! He doesn't have parents or money or a job. I would feel so bad kicking him out with nowhere to go. Also my family considers him family and I don't want to start a huge thing. My mom guilted me the last time I broke up with him calling me selfish.