When does it get easier

Question

My little lady is 6 weeks today. I'm married but it feels like it's just my job to take care of the baby. My husband gets up in the morning gets a shower has breakfast and coffee and watches the news. I get up change the baby, feed her, hold her till she usually falls back asleep. Then try to squeeze in a shower and try to remember to eat something. This is how it is all day. I feel like all the responsibility is mine. I've gotten up every single night with her since she was born. My husbands gotten up maybe 3x after I had to wake him up and ask him to do it. By that time, what's the point because I'm already awake. 
I love my baby and husband  but get so frustrated, angry, and sad sometimes. Can't wait till this gets better and easier.

Answer

I didn't give my husband an option. I don't know exactly what you're going through, because mine has been incredibly helpful. HOWEVER, the times I need something. Whether it's 10 minutes to myself, a shower, whatever... I don't ask. I just hand him the baby and say "I need to _________ ". I'm not going to ask you to take care of your own baby, you're just gonna do it!

Answer

I felt the same way in the beginning. We couldn't afford for my husband to take time off of work except a few days when our little girl was born. And I felt like I had to do everything, I felt bad for asking him to do anything because he worked. And I asked him just for some help some of the time because it's exhausting caring for a baby all by yourself. I think I shower like every few days. I forget to eat all the time, it's so hard to focus on yourself when your so focused on your baby. I had to put my daughter in her swing or crib just to cry it out in the bathroom, or I ask him to watch her while I shower and cry for a while. Things get too stressful especially when she's crying and I can't console her. My daughter is almost 3 months and she's sleeping better, but she prefers to sleep on me still and it's hard when I just want a break but she needs to sleep and I'm desperate for her to sleep. It's gotten easier then it gets harder, they change daily and there's always something new, new challenges. Someone had posted on here letter to my husband and it's spot on, I had my husband read it and he said it summed up perfectly how I've been trying to tell him how I felt. I feel like a milk factory, and my daughters only comfort. My husband thinks she doesn't like him and he constantly tries to give her back to me immediately because she's fussy or she's hungry when she's not.  It took me a while to get through to my husband that she's his too and he needed to spend some time with her and give mommy a break. You deserve a break, he should understand that. If you think you need to talk to your doctor then do so. Talk to friends or family too, it helps so much to just be able to vent. And to just cry it out in a different room than baby. I've done it plenty of times!  ❤️❤️

Answer

It will get better! I struggle with my son as well! I also had PPD. He cried so much for the first few weeks. There were times where I wanted to run away from it all! Eventually you will know what each cry is for. Then one night your baby will sleep the entire night. You will wake up a couple of times to see if the baby's okay. This will come around quicker than you know it. As For my PPD, I consulted with my doctor and put me on medication. Being a mom is difficult but a blessing!!

Answer

Im in your same situation and well my husband actually is not working at the moment he has never gotten up to help and even though yes it gets frustrating just remember that we are lucky enough to have our healthy babies at home and that one day when they are grown you will miss those sleepless nights try to enjoy your baby because they grow so fast. :)

Ps don't forget to take a nap when the baby sleeps

Answer

It will get better but you need to let your husband know you need help. There is no shame in asking for help. He needs to realize that you are recovering also and deserve some "me" time

Answer

My hubby and I take turns waking up with her at night. Even when I was on maternity leave he would still do some feedings and diaper changed during the night. But now we switch every other night (even though I have to wake im him up) I tell him baby's up I'll get the bottle for u to feed her. Lol and on my nights I wake him up and say can u change her while I make the bottle. And he does . I really think working together makes a big difference

Answer

I had my little guy 2 weeks ago. And I have a 2 yr old toddler. So yes it does get frustrating. But my husband helps me out a lot more with the toddler then baby. I wish he would help me more with the new baby! I understand waking up in the middle of the night to feed is one thing (guys can't really breastfeed) but I wish he would help me out in the mornings, like change little mans diaper and hold him while I shower and what not! But I know exactly what you mean!

Answer

I feel the same way. Just last night I just wanted to take a shower n his reply is "why don't u put the baby in the stroller, he likes the stroller n u could do things".  I got so mad bec I know he has been making side comments how he wish he can come home n the house will be clean n dinner will be ready.  (Which I used to do before giving birth).  So I lost it n started crying n I almost left n went to my mom's.  I really hope this will pass bec I never like fighting with my husband.  I'm telling u this only so that u know u r not the only one.  I hope n pray it gets better for us.

Answer

Same here! I have all of the baby duties, period. My husband is such a good man and I love him dearly but he doesn't help much at all. I feel desperate even asking him to sit in on bathtime some evenings so he can watch and experience this beautiful time we have been Blessed with. As I write this, I am nursing our 10 month old daughter to sleep and am SO exhausted from the day. I get frustrated sometimes but then I look at my precious daughter and feel better. It will get easier though!

Answer

This was me and my husband as well. We finally came up with a plan where I get up with baby during the week nights so he an be rested for work and then when the weekend rolls around he wakes up (I wake him up 😏) and takes care of baby throughout the night and I get to sleep in 😁 Of course we are both willing to help the other on our "off" days, but it definitely helps me knowing that I have the weekend to look forward to. Also you need some time every day for "you time" even if it's just 30 minutes. Hope that helps ❤️

When does it get easier

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