Some may think I'm crazy

Long story short, I faked a pregnancy to hurt my husband because he cheated & got someone else pregnant & I was so hurt I wasn't thinking correctly.. When I found out about the affair he told me they used protection and only told me the truth cause she announced the pregnancy via fb which is how I found out and confronted him about it. & my initial reaction was to hurt him back & I know I was VERY wrong. Before the lie I told I started with pills to numb the pain but that stopped working & my rage turned into revenge but  I eventually told the truth cause I realized the damage his lie and my own we're creating for my mental health. I've comptemplated suicide numerous times since both incidents. I won't point fingers because I realize the seriousness in my misfortunes. We both tried to forgive each other & we're coming up on wedding anniversary in a few days but instead of a celebration I'm serving him w/ divorce papers. I've turned into a person I don't recognize. I've recently started counseling & it's helping me cope.