Happiness (self & others)

Why do I keep fucking everything up. Why is it that anything that makes me feel good hurts others.... Like meeting someone new or doing something for myself.... What do I do?... Do I just say fuck everyone and do what makes me happy or ignore what I want and make sure everyone else is happy... Someone plz help.... I've been dealing with this shit for over 5years trying to figure this type of shit out but keep fucking everything up. I always end up hurting someone weather it be myself or someone else....