Frustrated & slowly giving up hope! 💔

AF was due sometime between the 10th & 14th (I use two apps & it's pretty much always between the 2 days glow & the other app says it should be). Yesterday morning, my husband said he had a dream the night before that I took a test & I was running through the house jumping up & down, because it was positive. So, I took a digital EPT I had in my cabinet. It was negative... I barely kept myself from bawling in front of him. I bought an .88 test last night, figured, hey maybe the EPT was bad, because it has been in the cabinet a long time. Took that one this AM & it (the new one) was a bad test (no control line). Ugh! My friends keep saying, "maybe it was a false negative" but I'm sure it is right. Almost 2 years worth of constant disappointment have made me really doubt my chances of ever becoming a mother. I'm just feeling super down right now & needed to vent. I don't let my husband see how sad I am, because he has some mental issues & he has already been a little depressed lately. He is terrific & stands by me through everything. I just don't want to burden him with guilt or sadness right now.