Always paranoid about pregnancy.

I'm always paranoid about being pregnant (we use NFP for avoidance) just because I'm worried about doing something that would harm the pregnancy. Although not entirely financially "ready", we could get there if need be and this would be the first grandbaby, so I know we'd have support if we were to end up being pregnant....
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But this month I've been good and not paranoid and I'm a day late (almost never late) and that paranoid bug is creeping up again! I'm gonna leave it a could days first, but I have cheap clinicguard tests because I'm always itching to test.
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Anyone else like this? I really want a baby, but don't feel like we're in a place where we should purposefully bring one into our lives. God's brought us this far and always blessed us with what we need, I just have to trust in his plans 😂