Ewww why!!!

Well after 4 kids my body finally gave out it looks horrible I'm so mad my boobs r starting to sag my stomach looks crazy yes I went back to my regular size but as it went back it has got a very ugly my csection looks horrible ..... How can I fix this I can't even look in the mirror with out feeling grossed out I don't ever want my SO to see me either even tho he says he loves me no matter what...in my mind I can't let him see anyways !