Is it bad that I never want to take another ptest?

I have had 2 separate occasions that I thought I was pregnant. Took the test and a big...fat...negative! I was heartbroken! I had symptoms like I was pregnant and what looked like implantation bleeding! One time periods was 22 days late! Now I'm at the point where I really don't want to take another ptest and hand even said I'll just wait till physical signs show pregnancy. But part of me wants to 'pee on a stick'! Am I wrong to feel like that?