Should I set a strict 'no visitor' rule while at the hospital after the birth of our baby?

Question

As the weeks continue to fly by, my husband and I are already having friends and family wanting to plan ahead  and be in state around my due date (majority of our family lives 12ish hours away). I hate to be rude, but this is our first child and God only knows how my delivery will go and honestly the last thing I want is a large number of those in the waiting room ready to get their hands on my baby. I know it's an exciting time for them too, but I want some space for us to enjoy. Hello?! Remember me? I'm the one who has been carrying my little one for the last 9-months?  Don't I have a say as to how this should go down? Is it too unrealistic to have a strict no visitor rule while at the hospital? I'm even considering telling everyone to give us a week once I'm home before getting bombarded with visitors lol

Answer

I was kind of confused on the voting, but my answer is NO, you are NOT being unrealistic. Labor is not pretty and it is extremely unpredictable. Recovery can be hard and differs per person. Also, most hospitals now encourage limited visitors, as it helps with parent-baby bonding, helps the mama and baby recover faster, prevents the risk of spreading illness, and gives the baby time to adjust to their new world.

I would tell the family, especially those traveling, to give you guys a week (or however long you and your husband agree upon). Something to note, if you do have to have a csection for some unplanned reason, you will be in the hospital for a full three days, so that might be something to consider for a time frame as well.

If they have an issue, they'll get over it. Just explain that you'll all need rest and time to adjust. They will understand. You can also tell the hospital staff about your no visitor rule and they will be the bouncer for you if someone decides to come anyway. 😉

Answer

Maybe tell them that you're not sure how you're going to feel and you'll let them know when they can visit. Then you can decide after. Maybe you'll have a relatively easy labor and will want the company afterwards. Maybe you'll deliver at 3 am and want a quiet day first.

Personally, I had about a 24 hour labor, delivered at 10:08 am and felt ready for visitors within a few hours. We gave each set of parents a time to avoid having a crowd. Worked great.

Answer

I think maybe you can have them visit on the last day in the hospital or you could just not tell them. I don't plan to let folks know right away when I deliver I may wait a day.

Answer

My no visitor rule was a month but definitely not at the hospital at all. Ive had family kick people out of the waiting room for me because just no... The entire first month you will not set foot in my house unless invited. BUT my family can respect that because we've all had serious birth problems(either complication with the baby or mom) with at least one pregnancy so they know better than to show up without asking and if they do ask it's only once until I invite them if I say no.

Sooo no. Not wanting anyone at the hospital is totally fine and not rude at all.

Answer

Our family all live 12 hours away too (in 2 different directions, ha!) With my first child everyone (2 sets of grandparents and my sister in law) jumped in the car and started driving when I went into labor and because I had a long labor, they were all at the hospital when my daughter was born. That part I was fine with but it was coming home to a house full of 5 people and all their stuff, who had been living in my home while my husband and I were in the hospital that really stressed me out. I was adjusting to taking care of a newborn and recovering from childbirth and I just wanted space in my own house and not have to worry about my boobs hanging out or post labor constipation (yes, that's a thing) or puting away my special "lady parts" cleaning paraphanalia after every time I used the bathroom (yup, you get a special spray bottle and other fun things since you can't use toilet paper right away). At least when they visited at the hospital I could send them away. With this baby (my 3rd) we are having my in laws come a day or two after get home from the hospital while my husband is on paternity leave and then my parents will come when my husband goes back to work to help me. I know they might be a little disappointed to not see the baby right away but honestly, I don't care because this is about my little family and this is what we want and need. Take care of yourself mama, that is most important.

Answer

Only my parents and sister were allowed to visit us. And they were only there the day I delivered. They saw the baby and left after probably an hour. Nobody else came after that and I'm so glad for it bc I was so exhausted and I was in pain, feeling fat, bleeding, such an unpretty time. Not only that but it's such a special time for you and your SO. I loved spending those 2 days with my little family of 3

Answer

I said no as in no,  it's not unreasonable!  I have some people coming from out of town  and I haven't given them the chance to say they're coming right after the birth.  I've given them time frames.  For example I told my best friend to come asap.  I told everyone else to wait until around or after Christmas when my daughter will be about a month old or so.

Answer

This is totally me lol! And I think you do what makes you and your SO comfortable! I also want time alone with baby and my man because it'll get stressful with all of those people! Plus I want baby to myself for a little before they take her away! She's mine I've waited 9'ontha to hold her let me do that for a while! You do you! I totally agree with your thoughts, I'd do it too if I were you.

Answer

I got a little confused on the voting but no it's not unrealistic that is your baby if that's what you choose then that's what you should do , I completely understand .

Answer

I was a bit of a weirdo, I had everyone come to the hospital. Nobody wants to stay long, nurses kick out sick people and don't let the room get too crowded, my husband was there the whole time, I didn't have to play hostess, I didn't feel obligated to make conversation, and I didn't feel bad for falling asleep in the middle of everything. 
When we got home, I only let immediate family and close friends come over maybe two or three days every week, for about six weeks.

Should I set a strict 'no visitor' rule while at the hospital after the birth of our baby?

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