Relationship advice ( married women preferred )!

OK so me & my man have been together 4 years. I love him dearly but when we argue I can't control my temper and I'll tell him that I hate him and don't wanna be with him. But even though that's far from the truth I feel bad for saying it. When he gets mad at me he calls me dumbass and will destroy my things. We love each other so much but when we argue its bad ! All we've been doing lately is arguing about minor stuff and we're not even married yet. How can I get him to realize I want this to work? How can I get a ring ? What are some things you do to make your man feel special? Mostly how can I fix this?