does anyone have a disabled mum?

⭐️MerFerret⭐️ • Beagle mama • Lupus & Fibro • 🏳️‍🌈 bi
I have lupus and am "differently a led" and I constantly worry about it making me a "bad mum" I guess part of it is the model I had was my mum that had a light disability, but then became drug addicted and wasn't really a mum at all, she was always in her room and treated us like burdens, didn't want anything to do with us either because she was high on her meds and wanted to be out on the town or just sloppily asleep OR coming down from a high/with no pain pills for her actual disability left (would take a months worth of Vicodin in 3 days, I'm surprised she didn't OD) and locked herself away until she could get high again the next month.
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While I know this isn't the life of a disabled person, but an addict... I just can't not think of my moms near-nonexistence in my childhood when I think of myself as a mother. Can any ladies that have positive memories of disabled mums reassure me how a child sees a disabled mom who's trying their best?