need to vent
You don't have to reply to this. I just really need to blow off some steam and I have no one to talk to.
I work full time as a mother of a one year old. I'm 21 almost 22 years old. As much as I love my son to death, there are times where I think back and wonder what my life would be like without him.
Well, there are pros and cons about that.
Pros - could do whatever I want.
Cons - wouldn't have a car, a job
So I guess you can say I'd be nowhere if it weren't for him. BUT. I find myself getting huge busts of unhappiness. I never go out and do anything. Girls nights are a thing of the past. My mother refuses to watch my son on the weekends (she is 40 and drinks every night including weekdays, at my aunts). When she was my age she had 3 kids and my grandmother watched us while my mom partied every single weekend. She got to be young. She is STILL living as though she is young. I've never gone to a bar. I don't even have friends besides my coworkers. I'm always excited to go to work because it's the only time I get to be around actual adults. My son irritates me to all ends sometimes and I feel like I'm with him TWENTY FOUR SEVEN without ANY breaks AT ALL. I'm just.. sad. I really feel it's selfish of me to say this because I'm a mother. I can't even date because I scare every guy away, and I don't meet anyone out in public. It's all online.
Ughhhhh. I wanna cry.
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