Cheating on Ideal Protein

Right now I'm aggravated. No, I'm more then aggravated, I'm fucking pissed off. I'm doing the ideal protein diet, and I cheated. And no, I didn't eat non-diet food. I decided to eat 7 protein packets today. SEVEN. And I don't even know why. I could even eat more right now. That's just how I feel. I'm wasting everyone's time, everyone's money, just life. I'm not suicidal, just angry.

I know I can't blame anyone, that it's all my fault, but I want to, I want to, terribly so. Why, why, why? I don't know why I keep on sabotaging myself this way. I just want to know why, but I do and really don't like the answer. Anyone? Anyone at all? Please, just someone, talk to me. Please, just please.