I've only been trying for 4 monthS but...

C.
...I still get depressed every time a friend announces their pregnancy. I still obsess over every test I take even though it's clearly negative. 
It's only been 4 months of actual "trying" but it's been years of prior financial planning. Years of my husband getting upset that he's 5 years older than me and feels like he hasn't started his life yet. Just because it's only been 4 months doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking about it for longer. It took me 10 years to get my bachelors degree and even more to get a stabile job. Now I'm almost 30 and I feel like I've wasted my time. 
It's been 4 months but seeing AF show up still hurts. 
What am I supposed to do? Just relax and go about my life? I can't. 

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