My husband and I had a lot of discussions before baby was born. He wasn't happy in his career and needed to leave his company. I wasn't super happy, but happier than him. I also work a second job teaching undergrads at night. Because of my career track and degrees and where we live, my earning power is much higher. We both didn't want to give baby up to a day care at a couple months old. So we decided my husband would be a stay-at-home dad and I would continue working both jobs. Because of this arrangement (i.e. my responsibility for our family's finances), I've been back at work part-time for almost 5 weeks; I took 3 weeks completely off.

Last night my husband, who's reading a book about baby sleep habits, says he read by 4 months most babies should sleep 10 hours through the night. He wants to transition baby to an earlier bedtime to get him moving toward that. He mentioned that it might mean he gets baby ready for bed before I get home from class. I started crying realizing what that means. I told him that that would mean on nights I teach, which could be up to twice a week, I might leave for work while baby is asleep and come home to a sleeping baby and it breaks my heart. My husband told me that he just wants what's best for baby. I asked if sleeping earlier is really better than our son not seeing his mom at all some days. We didn't really resolve anything because I was just too exhausted to get into a huge fight over it.

This morning was seriously the hardest day in 5 weeks to leave for work. I cried and cried getting ready and then had to fight back tears when my husband brought down baby 10 minutes before I left. And now I gotta get through a full workday without breaking down. I wish we could afford for me to work PT and my husband to work FT, but we'd make a good $30k less. I do this for my family -- not because I would rather be at work -- because it's what's best for us. I sometimes wonder if he thinks I just go to work and have a ball and don't really miss them at all. Some days, on my way to work (on the bus), I just thumb through photos of baby to remind myself why I do it. It's the only thing that gets me through some workdays.

Any other moms having a hard day going to work out of the house today? I could use some sympathetic ears.