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I just need to vent... I know some may relate

Alison • Fri, Oct 07

Today sucked! While I was standing in the baby clothes section picking out some of the cutest outfits for our best friends one year old, I lost it. Standing there between the racks bawling my eyes out as other shoppers walk by staring, all I could think of is why can't we be blessed with a baby. Why others in our family are being blessed with babies after babies, yet there I stand an emotional wreck baby-less. Dreading the first birthday party this weekend because with gatherings come questions. Questions we all know and some of us dread answering. By answering the most popular question, when are you guys having kids, rips off the bandaid over and over. Leaving my emotions raw because at that moment the negativity comes into my mind repeating over and over: "You will never be able to have a baby so just give up." That is the sentence I wish I could get out of my head.

I know I'm not the only one in here that have been TTC for years. It has been a rough battle for us, 2 1/2 years. There is nothing more that my husband and I want than to have a little love bug to call our own. After being told when I was younger that "it's ok to go long periods (months and years) without seeing AF, you have had it in the past so we know it works" and just enjoying my early 20s traveling the world without a care. I want to travel back in time and smack some sense into my younger self!!! THAT IS NOT NORMAL AND NOT OK! I have moved from Dr to Dr to try and find someone willing and eager to help me with what I didn't view as a big deal until now. Unfortently I have yet to find that person. Now all of them have said that everything looks ok, no cysts and nothing abnormal. But still no AF and no baby.

Two weeks ago I got a phone call I have been waiting for. I finally got an appt with a specialist at UofM. So in two weeks I get to start this process over again. Hopefully this time I get better answers and most importantly a family.

I'm sorry for rambling on lol so I appreciate

You reading until this point! :) I pray for each woman on here and extra baby dust. I am so thankful for all the encouragement I see. It does warm my heart when I see the announcements on here each day. One day hopefully that will be me.

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