Pregnancy after loss

October 19, 2005 I gave birth to the most amazing little boy. His name is Brandon Michael. Sadly on November 29, 2005 he passed away in my arms. He was born at 23 weeks gestation and weighed 1 pound 13 oz. He was 19 inches long. I have never experienced so much pain in my life. I had to make the choice to take him off of life support. Right before he passed away he opened his eyes for the first time looked at me and smiled and then he was gone. My sweet baby boy happy birthday! Mommy loves you and misses you so much. You are on my mind every single day and i know you are watching over me. Fly high sweet angel i will see you again someday. 👼👼👼

It never gets easier. As my SO and I try to conceive the only thing i can think is what if this happens again. I sit here typing this today hoping that this is my month and being terrified if it is. Nothing would make me happier than to find out if i am expecting again. I pray every single day. We have only been trying for a month but the thought of af showing her face kills me. For anyone who has suffered any type of loss know that you are not alone.