Do I have the right? Baby daddy drama (Long story)

Question

My SO has had a job offer to further his career but it's in London and we live just outside of Portsmouth(uk) For the past year and a half me and my SO have done EVERYTHING to keep my baby daddy happy he's even stopped us moving just a half hour away because he doesn't want to be away from his daughter, which we agreed not to go, baby daddy wants me to change my daughters school claiming the children there are too "rough" which I thought was disgusting and told him my daughter is staying in that school as it's great and she has all her friends there. Nothing rough about it, his family are extremely snobby. Every job offer my SO has had we've had to turn down and it's starting to get him down. If we move baby daddy won't have less time with his daughter it'll be just the same as it is now, he's telling me I don't have no right and he doesn't agree. Is he right don't I have a right and I'm being un reasonable or am I being reasonable with wanting the future of my SO and daughter to have a better life starting new. I mentioned the schools he wants our little one to go to are better in that area and now he's saying the one she's at is perfectly fine and would rather me and my SO split up then take his daughter "away from him" which I wouldn't be because nothing would change with his time with her. He also claims that I need to stop thinking about my SO and think about him. Which is clear I've always done I'm just sick of being stuck in one place.

Sorry for the long story but I need to know if I am the one being unreasonable for wanting to work on mine and my SO future or keep the baby daddy happy and be stuck in a big loop for the next 15 years

*update* I've mentioned to my ex I'm putting my relationship first as his time with his daughter is not going to change what so ever and also mentioned to him how I will be travelling to make it more fair for him to see her if travelling is what's causing him issues but I'm getting nothing back but me being selfish blah blah blah. And is now ignoring me thank you all you lovely ladies for your wonderful advice and I will be seeking legal advice, and hearing back from them tomorrow morning

Answer

I think you have every right to take the job and make the move.  He has the option to move closer if the distance is an issue.  He is an ex for a reason and he shouldn't be dictating or controlling your life.  Do what will make you and your family happy.

Answer

I am in no way versed in UK family law but I know in the US as long as you have the child where and when he/she is supposed to be with the other parent typically a move isn't forbidden. I looked at a map and it looks like it's only 2.5 hour by car from Portsmouth to London and 1.5 hours by rail. I personally don't see a problem with it, and here he would have to file an injunction to prevent you from moving then there would be a hearing weather it is in the child's best interest to move or not because ultimately it isn't about you or him it is about your child and how the move will effect her life. Best of luck to you. If I were you I would probably move and deal with it later because you can get her settled in london and say another move wouldn't be in her best interest.

Answer

If he still gets the same time with his daughter then it's fine ... Sounds like he's trying to keep you down. Don't let him control you. You deserve to be happy, your daughter will benefit more from a happy family as well. He will deal with it.

Answer

If visitation isn't going to change then you're not wrong at all.

Answer

I'm not from the UK so I don't know about any laws there. However you're not in the wrong. You and him aren't together so he shouldn't be dictating any of your choices. If it doesnt harm any visitations or his daughter than he shouldn't have any say about it.

Right now, you and your S/O need to make this decision for your family's future. TBH it sounding like your ex wants to control you or for you to come back to him. Stop giving him power over you or your current relationship will fall apart.

I've seen it happen with a friend of mine.

Answer

I mean if nothings gonna change n its only a half hour away, whats the problem? Sounds like hes just trying to run shit. Move girl lol

Answer

Okay first of all.... 30 min is not doing ANY harm! Move 30 minutes away if you want to... second, if it's a job offer from your mans employment now then you can move where ever with no problem I mean he can't continue to turn it down what if he loses his job all together.. you will just have to drive baby back for baby daddy to see the baby and not make it an issue driving to his house or whatever and I mean moving like an hour or more away. 3rd, he is not your man anymore. Point blank do what you need to do or call a lawyer and ask what your rights are.

Answer

You are not being unreasonable what so ever. If he can still have time with your daughter if you guys move then I see nothing wrong with it. You need to think about yours your child's and your boyfriend future. You obviously don't have a future with your ex, except co parenting so what he says shouldn't matter.

Answer

He is not your man anymore. He may be the father of your child but you two are not together so what right does he have dictating how your life should be?! If you are keeping his visitation the same then you do as you please with your life! You don't have to answer to him unless it is about your little girl. Him having control is just gonna make you miserable! So get a move on and live your life!

My best friend is in a similar situation, except his baby mama is psycho...

Answer

I dont know the laws there but if it's not going to affect his time with her then go for it. Do you have a custody order in place?

Do I have the right? Baby daddy drama (Long story)

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