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I've never felt as awful as I do right now... today was first time husband didn't get off or "fully hard" ever... when we used to have sex he used to get hard almost instantly, and now after giving birth it takes him forever.... I feel like its me, I feel so undesirable and unattractive.... probably a lot of it is post partum hormones.. today he's like I can't get off, and I'm so upset. Because I feel like it's me.. he said it wasn't but he's never had trouble before.... and he's like "it's nothing to cry about."

But it's not only that our whole relationship is changing. Like cuddling before sleep, usually just a few minutes now nothing. He yells at me more, just over nothing. Saying I don't care about him. Or listen. (Which I do he just Has an anger proble) he called me a bitch too.. for the first time ever. And even though we have 2 babies I feel like I'm trying so hard to please him and I haven't gotten mad at him or nothing Idk why he called me this... Idk how he can say so much hurtful stuff to me.

And now with all that plus what happened tonight.. I feel like I'm going to lose him... I'm so heartbroken. Nothing I do pleases him... I don't feel good enough ..

I know a lot of this is probably hormones but I just needed to vent... if you even bothered to read this whole thing thank you...