depression

Depression sucks. It seems like right when everything starts looking up, it's like BAM, you're going right back into that dark lonely hole. Not necessarily depressed about having a baby & what not. But just the fact that we have SO much going on right now that I don't want to bring a baby into this negative and stressful environment. Plus I know our 3 year old can sense something is wrong. And it's not really us being negative. We're just stressed and aggravated as hell with all the crap going on in our lives. And no. We can't "change anything" cause we have no control over it. Among my step mom passing, we are dealing with a non fault car accident & husband missing a lot of work cause of it & they're taking forever to settle with the lawyers. On top of bills piling up cause of missed work. It's like there a curse on us. We still have things we need to buy for the baby, but we can't just go off and buy them if we have to pay bills. (Yes, I'm getting as many hand me downs as I can get people to give but we don't know many people with kids). In laws have already bought a few things. But we don't even have a car seat. I just want it all the calm down and have a chance to relax somewhere in between. 😳