Midwife or Obstetrician?

(I apologize if this gets a bit long winded) My first appointment is tomorrow(12wks) and I'm very nervous. For obvious reasons but also because I have been signed up for a midwife and I'm now unsure of this decision. I suffer from anxiety and also sometimes have trouble standing up for myself because of this. (A little background)For the past year up until learning about my pregnancy I had no health insurance. Because of this I chose to get creative in my choices of birth control which lead me to try an herbal method that ultimately did not work. Lesson learned! It was because of this that the woman who assisted me with getting my obgyn appointment made decided that the best decision for me was a midwife due to my "holistic" choices in health care. I had never met this woman before as she works in the family planning department of a women's health clinic that I called after learning I was pregnant. I knew nothing about midwives before this and that seemed like a logical conclusion so I went along with it. Later my boyfriend mentioned to his mother that I would be having a midwife and she replied something along the lines of "oh, she's wanting to do it all natural" and "she knows they don't do epidurals, right?" This never occurred to me as the woman who made my appointment said apart from a c-section they can do anything that an obstetrician can do. So I started looking up widwives and their stance on epidurals online. I pretty much only found forums for women in the UK(I live in the US) but, what I found made me nervous. Most experiences that I read were women being bullied and manipulated by their midwives into not getting the epidural that they wanted. Many women were manipulated into waiting to get their epidural in an effort to explore other options and then eventually were told that they had waited too long and that it was too late. These women believed that their midwife had done this deliberately because of their personal feelings on epidurals. Others were told that no anesthesiologists were available until it was no longer an option or were just blatantly bullied out of it. Personally, I don't know how I will feel about the matter when the time comes BUT I am very concerned that when the time comes I might feel that I need one and it's important to me with my anxiety that if I feel like I need an epidural at that time that I not be bullied out of it. I will ask these questions tomorrow at my appointment and hopefully they will be honest with me and I'll get the answers I need. BUT, I'm hoping that some ladies on here might be able to share with me some of their personal experiences and hopefully help me put some of my anxieties regarding this topic to rest. Thank you in advance!