I don't know what to do

Monday night he had been plowing the first snow and into the day. Came home and slept all day and woke up at 8 and asked why i let him sleep so long. I asked if he would watch the baby for me so I could shower and that he's kind of fussy right now and attached to me because he's nursing and feels yucky. 

30 min later I come out and my husband is irritated because he's still crying. I hear my sons cries become more "frantic" and my husband yells "goddamnit Boston!" At him. I just went in and took the baby and said I would feed him and walked out to let him cool off. This SET MY HIM OFF. He lost it, got up and punched the bed, pointed in my face and said that I was a selfish bitch and that I needed to get his son in bed now because he's not feeling good and that if I don't I can get the fuck out. He told me that I don't know how to be a good mother and everytime I tried to talk he told me to shut my mouth. 

I said I would lay down and nurse him when he calmed down and I did. Once I did he said that I didn't need to be nursing him just because he's crying. And he doesn't always need my boob. 😞

I asked him to leave and he's been at his parents all week. He told me he realizes how verbally abusive he is to me and how he's neglected us all these years. I just don't think I can do it again. This isn't the first time. It's happened so many times. He cheated on me when I was pregnant :( I feel stupid and worthless and weak right now and I just need some advice. He's begging to come back and I feel like words don't fix it and he's never changed :(  He said he doesn't remember any of it because he was "half asleep". I don't think I believe it