No Christmas decor = sad

This year will be Husband and my first Christmas together by oursleves. Past years we always traveled to be with families. Luckily this year we'll be able to stay in our little cozy home. I have my presents planned out for the Husband already and he doesn't know. He asked me the other day what I want for Christmas and I said I don't really want any presents (which is true). His response was, "Good I don't have to worry about getting you anything...and even if I did you'd see it on our bank account". I'm already glad that I'll have a present from my secret santa for Christmas morning.

Today I asked Husband if we could go do something special for Christmas since it'll be just us two this year. He did not respond back and redirected the conversation. I asked again if he could take me out to eat or cook me a meal on Christmas day? I don't think it's much to ask for, just a little something special for me. He said most places would be closed on Christmas day and he'll only cook me burnt food. Ofc my hormones and sensitivity kicked in and I started bawling. I said, "I cook for you every day for the past years and all I ask is something special from you and you can't even...." I feel sad. I look forward to the holidays so much because everything is so bright and cheery but I'm not feeling it. I can't even have a Christmas tree of any sort in the house. I have two Christmas decorations only. A dining table ornament piece and I hung a couple mini ornaments on my bouquet of flowers. That's all I'm getting. He likes Christmas and likes to give during the holidays but he refuses to put decorations up.

**deep sighs** okay maybe I was being too sensitive but I love Christmas and everything about it. No decorations will make me extra sad.

Why....it's going to be a long December.

If you already have your Christmas decorations up, please drop a photo (tree or anything) for me. I love Christmas decor. Thanks.