My mom is severely bi polar. My husband and I  currently live with my parents until we get on our feet (we moved back to our home state to be closer to family and also so my husband can finish college). But the other day my mom had an episode and she was also drinking. She's gotten behind the wheel a couple times andi thought she was doing ok. But she's not. It's the same cycle...so after a couple days of anxiety and being upset I finally talked to her. Let her know I didn't feel it was safe to leave our son with her- which was half of the reason we moved here...to help with daycare costs and not be so stressed. I've already been upset thinking about leaving my baby in general, and now will have to find a baby sitter or daycare. But my mom doesn't see the drinking as an issue. I can't change her ways. She would never do anything to hurt our son but I can't trust her decision making skills if she had an episode and has been drinking. It's been rough today and I feel lost. I feel without a mother. I can't talk to her without her getting upset or being overly emotional. I don't ever want my baby to feel like i do today.. 

-  💚- 💚 - 💚 - 💚 - 💚 - 💚 - 💚 - 💚 -

Dearest Little,

I hope you know that mommy has tried her best and will continue to try her best- always. I hope you feel the love that radiates from my very being for you. I hope not that you will never feel scared or hurt or lost, but rather that when you feel those things- you don't also feel alone with no where to turn. I hope you can count on me when you're 13 or 18 or 25 to comfort you when you feel like the world is crumbling around you. Or maybe when you just need a warm hug. I will always be there to protect you from harms way, but also to push you out of your comfort zone when it's time you learn how to fly on your own. I hope that no matter what happens, you know that you will always have me by your side. You are my precious angel, my sweet little boy. I promise that I will always love you. 

Daddy has his own way of saying things, but this is mine.