I emotionally abuse my boyfriend?

Question

I feel awful. My boyfriend doesn't see the problem but I feel like I always just putting him down. I always get mad at him for the smallest things. He says the wrong thing and I get really upset. Hes usually a little late so I get salty when he finally shows up to my house. I just always feel like im putting him down. He always feels bad and comforts me when I cry its just that I'm creating a lot of unnecessary drama. Its like I am just too emotional. And clingy. Idk i just feel like he deserves better. That maybe he will leave me if i constantly ask him if he loves me or if hes cheating or if hes going to leave me. I feel like im a burden to him and hes so good he just takes it and loves me and such. He just puts up with me and doesnt see the problem. But my insecurity and my anger or just my lack of thinking before speaking is awful! Idk what to do!! I talk to him about it and he says its fine, yes i talk to a therpist. I just need advice? Maybe from personal experience?

Edit: Im asking if you think I am emotionally abusive as well. I hope I am not I just feel like i start fights for nothing and make him feel bad for things he doesnt do or mean to do.

Answer

You literally just described me when I am on BC. I felt so bad even though I was aware I was doing I just couldn't stop I was so paranoid. I apologized all the time but I was just an emotional wreck. What I learned to do was to shut up if something bothered me and reflect on it for a day. If it still bothered me, that's when I would mention something, if I realized I could work through it, I didn't bring it up. Eventually I got a lot better.

Answer

Well admitting  it is the first step now what you need to do is when a situation comes up stop and take a breath before you respond it takes alot of practice but stop assess what he said or did and think what should I say or do in response like what would I want someone to say or do if I said or did that ? It really is jist part of growing up learning to have a filter is not easy especially of you have never had one that couple seconds before you respond is priceless practice on everything jist normal conversation stop and absorb what the other person said eventually u will have the proper responses but like I said it takes alot of hard work and thaught fulness good luck he is a keeper

Answer

How long have you guys been dating? I know that for me in the first part of my relationship I was like that, I also had a lot of outside stress going on too. But I would just have to self reflect and really try to sort out when I was just being over dramatic about stuff and practice to control myself, even though sometimes guys do do annoying shit and sometimes us females do get a teensy bit crazy. I also used to get jealous but I just had to keep reflecting on whether or not it was logical and really learn to TRUST my boyfriend, I think that's key to a healthy relationship. Try not to be paranoid but don't play dumb. I don't know how long you've been dating but the more you get to know each other and each other's habits it gets easier. And it's really good you talk about it with him. That's the most important thing you can do. IT WILL GET EASIER! It just takes practice to not always go off on your boyfriend. And if he understands you that is amazing, remember that and hold onto that. If you beat yourself up over it it will only get worse. It's important to grow together! If I notice I'm treating my boyfriend a certain way I ask him to point it out to me at the time so I can try and break the habit. Cause it's easier to correct on the spot rather then afterwards. Good luck! And try not to let it get to you too much because that won't help and definitely keep talking it out together!

Answer

Wow this is the position im in & sounds just like me. I feel like im always saying the wrong things, always crying, always bitching, always giving him shit for the smallest things. And i always tell him im psycho crazy and he deserves someone thats going to treat him better. And i know im insecure and i have the worst anxiety attacks so im always assuming the worst. So i then think hes going to leave me for someone better. But he sits there and chuckles and comforts me til i stop crying. And tells me hes the one that deserves me (through thick & thin) he knows im crazy bc i care. He understands that i love him with all my heart. My insecurtity gets the best of me sometimes but he knows and understands and puts up with my emotional bs. I think thats why i fell in love with him. Bc he can tolerate my psycho crazy bull shit and yeah he gets tired of it but i know he loves me for who i am.( Im trying to work on myself as well) i have really bad trust issues (he knows that) and thats why im always asking questions and interrogating him. So im trying to work on myself and work on the trust i have for him. I just think you should find the root and cause that is making you feel this way and try to work on yourself& yalls relationship. (If its a relationship you love & want to continue)

Answer

Really focus on not getting upset over trivial things. I had to. It took a while, but now I'm like eh it's not worth the drama. I didn't emotionally abuse him, I would just get upset over small things. You can do it. Just try to watch your anger and the words you say. Close your eyes and breathe or give him a hug when you're angry, that'll help you calm down too.

I emotionally abuse my boyfriend?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products