anxiety?

so ever since i went to elementary school i've had this "tick" of scratching (nor really pulling out directly) my hair. 

i have always had straight hair, and i remember being a kid and start touching my hair, obsessing with all its imperfections, such as tearing apart split hair tips and tiny knots, as if i wanted my hair to be absolutely straight although not being interested in that consciously (i actually would like to have it curlier) 

i mean i do know it is unhealthy and ive gogled tips to stop touching it thousand of times. i have tried thinking of something else to stop the urge, trying to pin point which thoughts cause me to do this, painting my nails... even trying to redirect it to something else, such as biting my nails (which doesnt stick) instead. but nothing seems to work! 

i do it when i am stressed, when i am bored, when trying to sleep, or playing videogames, when relaxing...  

i also know there is this thing called trichotillomania, that is just how much i have googled this XD i really need to stop. there are like 2 cm on the top of my head that look bald. it more or less grows back every time i get freaked out, but i dont want to go on and on like this, cause then the day will come it will not come back :'( and i get back to "caving in" right away anyway. it also happens on the same exact spots everytime, its always been in the same spot. 

i hope you guys dont laugh at me :( this has me worried. i want to be healthier. also, i know the likeliest answer is to go to therapy, but i've never come across a good one (regarding anxiety issues in general) and its really hard for me to explain this, cause its such an ugly obsession. 

in any case, i have looked up plenty of mental tricks to help me with this, and so far... nothing. 

any ideas? 

everything is welcomed 

thanks