Do I let them or no? Grandparents

Question

Hi ladies... 
I am currently looking for a name for my dad and his girlfriend to be called when my baby arrives. 
My dad has never been around really. He walked out on me as a baby and I didn't see him for 20 years, till I found him. It's now been 3 years. He's still unreliable but involved in my life.

I don't know if I should allow him to be part of my baby's life or not? And if I do what should my baby call him? I don't call him dad as we don't have that type of relationship unfortunately.

Also what would my baby call his girlfriend. She's lovely and she's more involved in my life than my dad. That's by their choosing not mine. 
What would my baby call her if anything?

Any advice would be much appreciated!! ❤️👼🏼

Answer

I think this one depends. In my family calling someone mom/dad/grandma/grandpa is a respect thing so I would probably introduce at least him as grandpa. And probably the girlfriend as grandma. I know you have a rocky history so I understand wanting to maybe have your baby call them by their first name but I would consider that a little passive aggressive if you're trying to build a better relationship with him. Your baby won't know he's unreliable as long as you don't let him get their hopes up.

Answer

I have somewhat of a similar situation with my father.. I maybe see him 3-4 times out of the year and my 3 year old doesn't really know him very well. We've never been close and as I've gotten older, I've kind of just left the relationship up to him. My son remembers him and is fine with him when he's around, but I letting dad know flat out that if Milo ever got to the point where he asks why my dad isn't around, that he's the one who's going to explain that to him. I let my dad choose what he'd like to be called so he's "Papa" and his wife really isn't anything... he'll probably end up calling her by her first name eventually. My motive is to just roll with it and not overthink relationships with family. If your child is important enough to them, then they'll prove it. If that makes sense..

Answer

My MIL has been in and out of our lives since I met my husband for various reasons and has had different boyfriends. The kids call her grandma but call her BF by his first name. The kids don't think much of it. They are just closer to my parents.

Answer

Nope.  Just no.

Answer

What's the baby going to call your mom? Do you want your dad in your life? If yes then of course he'll be part of your babies life. The good thing with grandparents is that they don't need to consistently be around. Some people's grandparents live across or in a different country so they seldom see their grandbabies. How about grandpa, pap, pop-pop?

Do I let them or no? Grandparents

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