When your BFFs son is aggressive to your daughter

Question

Ok so long story short, my BFF and I have our kids about 5 months apart. He is a little over 2 and mine is just under two. Well we were over their house playing and he kept hitting my daughter in the face, pushing her, grabbing her shirt and trying to scratch her face. He goes to school but so does my little girl and she isn't aggressive. I know his parents aren't aggressive bc they are wonderful people. Maybe this is just behavior learned from school? I felt terrible for my daughter bc she has NEVER had another kid hurt her intentionally like that.

If she acts out physically for me, she gets a time out for about 10 seconds and the. It's finished and over. My friend just kept saying "no" and be nice" I swear I wanted to put him in timeout myself. I never said anything and Charles it up to maybe he was frustrated and he was acting out that way, but on the way home I decided I can't bring her there till he starts getting disciplined better rather than as calm taking to. I mean he was intentionally scratching my daughter's face. I was trying to keep him away but I also have a 4 month old and didn't want to make his mom feel bad bc she just had another baby herself. I guess my question is, what would you have done!? How dO you tell another parent that they need to step it up or we aren't coming over!?!

My mommy guilt was terrible coming home  bc I felt like I hadn't protected my little one enough!? Did I react ok or was I being too much of a push over to not hurt my friends feelings?  What would you have done?

Answer

Regardless if it's a phase or jealousy  - you have the righ to protect your child. Personally ai would have left with my child if his behavior was going uncorrected. My job is to protect my child.

Answer

This is interesting.

My daughter is one week away from 3 months old and her only cousin is five months older than her, 8 months.

The cousin is crawling, pulling up, grabbing and a normal active 8 month old.

My mother in law had a birthday party yesterday and it was the first time we took our daughter out and the whole family wanted to hold her and take pictures.

As we were taking pictures they wanted to get pics of the two grandkids w my mother in law and father in law.

My nephew was so busy and I know he was just curious but he kept trying to grab her bow, pacifier and face. I wasn't having it. The family tried to make light of it but I made it very clear he was just too busy for her right now.

I grabbed my baby and kept her to myself.

Your kids need you to protect them even if the harm is uninterntional. I would talk to your friend and let her know that her son is too rough and you didn't like how it made you feel when he was being rough to your daughter.

Answer

Mine knows right from wrong. She hasn't had a time out in over 2 months for agg behavior an tn she had one😭. I   Will talk to her but I know she is healing from her C section and has a lot on her plate. I'll wait for a bit.

Answer

When it comes to your kid, you are in your rights to say whatever you need to say to keep them safe. ESPECIALLY when we have a boy harming a girl, in our society where male aggression towards women is WAY too normalized, it's super important to either tell your friend to discipline their kid, or do it for her if she won't! There is nothing wrong with getting involved when someone might get hurt, especially your little one. All you have to do is get down on their level and explain that your daughter doesn't like what he is doing and that it hurts and you are there to protect her, that if he won't play gently then they can't play together anymore. If he doesn't get it, you might just have to have kid-free outings with your BFF for a little while until her kid calms down. 
But in all seriousness, aggression towards women can and does start this early in boys, and the best way to stop it is making it very clear that the kind of behavior is NOT okay! The boy needs a talking to, from his parent or from you, but if your kid is at risk you do what you gotta do.

Answer

It's tough but as you said your friend is recovering from her c section, she is probably having a tough time. I think, since he had already corrected him, then I would've stepped in if he did it again. Just by getting down to the kids level and reminding him "your momma just told you to be gentle with your friends, can we practice being gentle now buddy? See how we make our friends feel sad and hurt when we are too rough?" Then distract both of the toddlers and play with them for awhile. Since they are both so little they might need more adult interaction during their play than older kids would. This would give your friend a break but not be overstepping I think. I wouldn't stop going over there! Just wear yoga pants and expect to be on the floor playing with the kids more. And by teaching the toddlers how to treat your infant you will be doing your friend a favor for when her baby is having some time on the floor with her older child!

Answer

No hes 2, he does not know right from wrong yet and 2 is a 'jealous sharing' age. Dont look at the parents like theres an issue yes it hurts bcos shes your daughter, (she will prob be doing it herself soon) but all you need to do is put a lil space between them and say no we dont smack play nicely and encourage him to play nicely

When your BFFs son is aggressive to your daughter

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