Fighting with husband

I need some advice. My husband and I have been having fights over stupid, petty things that turn into serious arguments. We've only been married 11 months. Example: The one yesterday happened because he said he would clean the toilets and didn't finish and started watching tv. I asked if they were still in process, he said they were done, and I said this one part isn't clean and asked if he could finish it. He argued with me about why he should have to clean that part of the toilet! I mean, are you kidding?! So I walked away and said I wouldn't have an argument and we could talk when he was calm.

About 4 hours went by, I asked if we could talk and apologized. At first, he apologized too, but then began arguing with me again.

I get the feeling that something else is going on. But he won't tell me anything and gets angry when I ask if something is wrong. Why the fuck would he dig in and want to have a huge argument about cleaning, unless it isn't actually about cleaning, you know? I recently got a job after being unemployed for a few months so he's been the bread winner, I'm finishing college part time, we're TTC and getting our condo ready to sell so we can buy a house. It's a lot, I know, and I've asked him about these things being the cause of him being upset with or resenting me and he keeps saying no, yet keeps acting like he's mad at me. Other things that will cause a fight is when I ask him to do any housework, I've gotten upset that he never complements me unless I ask for it, if we talk about his drinking in any way (how many drinks, you should cut yourself off, are you wasted, etc.), and any talk about saving $$ for the house we're trying to buy or for our future baby (he refused to cut back anymore, says he's cut back as much as he can already, while I haven't had my nails done since our wedding & no shopping to help save up). I feel like I'm on eggshells all the time now, and even being so careful, the fights still happen.

I've suggested therapy and he says he'll go but he thinks it's a waste of time & money. I work in a mental health related field and know that you'll only get out of therapy what you put into it, so if he goes in with that attitude, it WILL be a waste. I kind of don't know what to do to stop the fights and really be a strong team.

So I'm looking for any suggestion at all. I think we're in real trouble here and I'd appreciate any help.

*Update*: Thanks to everyone who gave suggestions. I just contacted the couple's therapist I'd dinner research on and asked if she did individual therapy as well. I'm going to let this go for now, but I know it'll only be a matter of time before he blows up again....

To the person who said I should consider myself "lucky": We *both* work, I'm in school and he is not. He had not had to pay any of his $$ towards my tuition. When I was unemployed, he did support me, but for the almost 2 years I lived with him before we were married I paid 1/2 the monthly mortgage & bills. If anything, he should be doing more around the house than me. He doesn't have class meetings or homework, and he doesn't bring work home but twice a year when be needs to do evaluations of his direct reports. This isn't 1950, I'm not a SAHW, I shouldn't have to beg my husband to clean. You said I should be thankful he offered. Well, he didn't offer. We came up with a chore schedule so I wouldn't have to ask him to do stuff bc me asking him to do something always became a fight. In fact, saying he's "helping" me with chores suggests the chores are only my responsibility in the first place. They're not! We should be an equal team on equal footing. We both use the toilet, we can both clean it. End of story. I don't say these things to him, for obvious reasons. I'm saying them to you here for being rude.

*Update*: So we had a productive talk today when he got home. He wants to help and get in the habit of doing these things before we concieve (I could be preg right now! I'm in the TWW!) so we talked about expectations, who would do what chores, and why our communication broke down. I feel much better and I believe he does too. He was genuinely sorry for making a big deal, and we talked about how to prevent that in the future. I'm still committed to going to therapy and will bring that up another time. Can't be greedy! 😄

I will take the advice below to heart, especially about the wording and how I say things. I'm feeling much more positive, thanks to you ladies! 😘