I yelled at my baby 😢

Yall I am just going to go dig a hole and crawl in it. I yelled at my baby and I mean really yelled at him and I feel like the worst mother ever and like I'm unfit to be a parent. His sleep has been horrible for the last 3 months. Up every 2 hours crying, won't nap, it's awful. We're both sleep deprived. We also just got back from a mini family vacation. It was much needed and all of us enjoyed ourselves. But it was a 2 and a half hour ride and he cried the whole way there and the whole way back unless I was turned around playing with him or if he was taking one of his 10 minute naps..I couldn't get in the back with him because we had the other seats up for our dogs...anyways, it's expected to be cranky after a trip. However, he was totally fine up until his daddy left for work then all hell broke lose and for almost 2 hours I fought with him to put him to sleep. I finally got fed up and yelled STOP IT while squeezing him against me. I knew that wasn't going to help. I don't know why I did it. I wish I could take it back. I just want him to wake back up so I can hug him and kiss him and snuggle with him. Bleh. I just needed to get this off my chest. 😢😢😳😵