I recently broke up with my boyfriend after 1 year and 3 months due to his behaviour becoming extremely abusive both mentally and physically. It was the hardest thing i had to do due to being my first love. My grandma passed away 4 months ago, my foal was a still born, my sister had a miscarriage and has since been unable to become pregnant again. I recently found out a good friend of mine is dying from a brain tumour (she's 16), my bestfriends left me and my unbiological granddad who has adopted me as his grandchild has cancer which he won't progress from. My family is struggling financially which causes tension and anger. Mum appears to always be so disappointed in me no matter what. I have no motivation and I honestly don't want to be here anymore. The amount of times I have stayed awake crying just wishing I had the courage to stop it all. Things people say to me stays in my head for so long and makes me feel so worthless. Especially when it comes from people I care about, such as my now ex... I just don't know what to do, I'm lost, have been for awhile and only now have I got to the point of giving up. I don't want to do it