adoption..

This is killing me. But I've been thinking about doing adoption, open adoption for my baby.. I'm young and in college and I'll be taking care of the baby mostly on my own as my boyfriend works A LOT and barely is with me.. and I'm just not ready.. I know I won't be able to provide this baby with what he/she deserves.. I want this baby to have an amazing life and get everything he/she wants that I can't provide to them.. I'm so depressed already.. but my boyfriend doesn't agree with adoption.. he won't allow it.. but he's not the one that will be with the baby 95% of the time.. he won't be the one up all night and all day to care for this child.. it's take an emotional toll on me so badly. I just want this baby to have a great life with parents that are more than ready for a baby and parents who can provide my baby with everything.. im just so stuck and sad.. 😔 I have no one to talk to so I needed to vent to someone.. so I came to this app. I feel like a bad mom..