I do my best. I'm exclusively
breastfeeding my daughter who is now almost 12 weeks old. I struggled with oversupply (which I never knew was a thing until motherhood blindsided me) and now I struggle with wondering if I have enough milk some days. Since birth I've been using diaper cream or vaseline to prevent diaper rash...the same diaper rash I am struggling to get rid of now because I let her be babysat ONE time. I've bathed her every few days...but her little neck still gets crusty and smelly from my milk and her spit up.. even though I've lotioned her she got dry skin.. so dry that this mom called her ped thinking it was some kind of alien rash. What is wrong with me? Smh. Cradle cap drives me crazy but I can tell you it doesn't bother her.. I've had to change her out of her super cute dresses because of spit up or blow outs and have resorted to a comfy onesie afterwards instead. Stir crazy...cabin
fever...it's a thing..haven't left the house much because when she cries it gives me anxiety that a stranger in town might look at me like I'm a monster. Speaking of crying.. she has these fits of crying that I cannot console.. I cannot identify what is exactly wrong.. but I hold her and kiss her and let her know Mama is here. I am far from perfect and most days I question if I am a good enough Mommy for my little bundle of joy..and wonder if I even know wtf I am doing...but tonight when those thoughts entered my mind as I rocked her to sleep...she reached her arm up and rested it around my neck...and I swear it was to let me know I am enough ♡
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