Should I get into an open relationship?

Question

My boyfriend asked me what an open relationship was and I said when you and a partner have multiple sexual partners but their actual feelings are with each other.

And he said he thought that meant you can flirt with other people.

Anyway he lives far from me, we met while playing a video game just to give a bit of info. So I do think this is a type of relationship that would get thrown into an open relationship. The thing is idk if I'm comfortable with that.

A lot of my insecurities seem to get mixed into this especially when he asked me that. Am I just too insecure for an open relationship?

So maybe he just wants flirting with others and I guess I'm okay with that. I mean I play video games with other guys and I am sure he does with other girls.

But the thing is he also asked me if he could cuddle someone. This is when I first mentioned n open relationship just to see what he would say. I didn't think he would actually want one.

Should I say it's open but limitations or just break it off cause he said he "couldn't stop thinking about it" as in having an open relationship.

Answer

You shouldn't do anything you aren't comfortable with.

Answer

It may be best to find someone closer to you that you could actually be with and spend time with in person. I don't know him but I would hate for him to do it behind your back anyways since you two live so far apart .

Answer

Girl if you think this might make you feel even slightly insecure, don't do it. If you think you "could maybe be okay with it" don't do it. If you want an open relationship, you have to be fully, 100% okay with the idea of it. No doubts and no insecurities or else you'll just end up miserable!

Answer

I would leave

Answer

Being in an open relationship means multiple things. I've had sooooo many friends whose boyfriends ask about open relationship type things and this is usually what it means:
#1 you two have been together for what he thinks is a long time so he's starting to get nervous about maybe being with you forever so he starts wanting to put some distance between you two so he can feel like he's not trapped for the rest of his life. (Very common)

#2 the relationship is fizzling out for him and he wants to see other people but either still likes you enough to be scared to hurt you and break up or is too chickenshit to break up so tries to have the best of both worlds

I have no idea what shitty porno convinced all these men that open relationships are just a thing people do because they're not. It is a SEXUAL ORIENTATION - like being gay or straight. It is POLYAMOROUS and not everybody can just "do" that, just like you can't make a straight person have a gay relationship. If you are not polyamorous you won't be able to just have an open relationship and thrive, it will be a really hard and not fun experience. Not your fault. Just like it's not your fault if you're straight or gay or bi.

If you're not into it, DONT DO IT. It will make you hate him or feel like garbage about yourself. Or, as more of what I've seen, it blows up in the  and guy's face because the girl ends up getting more "cuddle buddies" even though it was his dumb idea and he throws a tantrum and calls it off lol 😂😭 I've seen that happen multiple times actually

Answer

If he starts bringing it up all the time and "just can't stop thinking about it" because you won't give him the answer he wants, then he's manipulating and guilt-tripping you which is a whole other problem. Walk away with your head held high.

Also, open relationship really means a non conforming non monogamous relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean sleeping with other people. It can be a different thing in every relationship. Boundaries and communication are the most important things to maintain in an open relationship. It's also important for you to be open with your struggles and how you feel about things.

Again, if he starts saying your fears are invalid or "that's never going to happen to us" then he's manipulating you. Walk away.

Answer

If you aren't comfortable, I wouldn't recommend it.

Answer

Absolutely only do what you are comfortable with. An open relationship can ONLY work if both parties truly want it and set boundaries. If any of what he wants makes you uneasy, then you should break it off and find someone who shares the same relationship ideas as you!

Answer

By accepting an open relationship you have to have absolute trust and communication with your partner. If you have any doubts, you probably shouldn't do it. Most open relationships ive heard about, the partners tell each other everything they do. You also run the risk of him catching feelings for another person. Since you have a long distance relationship, you're competing with girls that can actually be there for him physically and emotionally. Im not just talking about sex. Physical touch is a powerful thing. It's along the same lines of why 3sums can become bad things, ruin relationships, and a lot of people avoid them or are opposed to them. However in this case you're limited to not even being able to be around your man. An open relationship has to be equal and both people should equally want it and understand the risks involved. Obviously none of us know much about your man, but it sounds like he is trying to bait you into one and I'm not about games like that. I dont know if you can really trust him, but its your choice. You should think about what you want in a relationship, whats important to you first. Are you going to also see other people? Are you okay with your boyfriend flirting with other girls?

Should I get into an open relationship?

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