How do you deal with the disappointment?

Question

Been trying to conceive for 6 months now, and while I know that's not very long in the scheme of things, it was pretty disappointing when AF arrived yesterday! I'm wondering how you deal with the let down, how you stay positive, and how you keep moving forward because right now I'm definitely not feeling it. I'm angry with my body and feel downright upset. Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks lovelies!!!

Answer

We tried for 16 months total. I tracked, had charts, tried temping, on the apps every day.

At the year mark it was a big deal - a healthy sexually activist couple who has not conceived in a year is put in the Infertility category.

That was crushing. How I delt with it was I figured we'll see doctors in the future and go from there. But what I need to do is realize that I may not have kids. Then what? I still get a life. I get to plan things that don't involve kids, or foster, adopt, or become an emergency foster for dire situations.

I just stopped having my whole damn days, weeks, and months being overtaken with TCC. I would pay attention and use OPKs when the time was right and we'd still try but it wasn't on my mind every day. I started living my life and having a complete life instead of feeling like there was this missing void. A kid(s) would not complete my life, but add to its fullness.

My stress went mostly away, I felt a lot better.

Now I'm 9w+2.

The advice of just stop trying and all that is okay...but it won't always work if you're mind isn't into it. We kept trying but I was still super chill and not stressed anymore. You can do both.

I honestly believe this helped me. Don't make TTC you're whole life if you can help it. It will happen, don't torture yourself every day until then because those days are precious too!

Sorry for my long post. I just feel so much empathy. Bless you and I hope you get your BFP soon!

Answer

Try Geritol ...it works

Answer

We prayed and stopped actively trying.  I would do OPKs but we didn't make it a big deal if we didn't have sex.  It took the stress off of the whole process...

Answer

Feel the same,  trying since September with irregular cycles. I just try to think daft stuff like "Who wants a Christmas birthday?" My best friend knows I'm trying and it's been great sharing each ovulation test picture, cycle chart screenshot and moody day with her. Lean on someone, a girl friend, who will 'get it' when you're having a bad day. The boys can be great but they'll never understand what we go through.  xx

Answer

You're right 6 months isn't a long time for TTC but it doesn't mean your emotions aren't real or that you don't have a right to feel disappointed and/or angry.

The best thing to do is practice self love and sharing the love even when it's hard to do.  It's when you most need it.

You can make a nice donation or volunteer to an organization such as March of Dimes, Make a Wish, St. Jude's or a womens and children's shelter...somewhere that helps children.

You can write a letter to your future child.  You can start a Vlog for them to watch one day when you're not here any longer. Start the legacy now.

You can pamper yourself with a mani pedi, a new haircut. Make a salt or sugar scrub. Learn something new. You can smudge your home. Light a candle. Purge things do not speak life into your home. You can't rearrange the furniture in your home.

I hope this helps.  Hugs to you sweet sister!

Answer

I still get disappointed but I try to look at it 2 ways. The first is that I want kids and want to be a mom but that my life isn't horrible without them. So I try to keep that in mind when AF arrives. I list out all the good things in my life, my DH, my great family, a stable job, etc. The second thing I do is realize that for me, getting pregnant means restrictions, what you can't eat, physical activities that are risky, etc. So I try to go out an enjoy those things while I can.

It is hard. We have been trying for 1.5 years with 1 MC. Just started work with a fertility specialist. My friends seem to have no trouble getting pregnant so sometimes that can hurt knowing that we are struggling while others we are close to don't. But finding friends that are supportive is great. Even my friend who is apparently very fertile and just had her second baby is very supportive of my journey. But I have other friends that aren't and make insensitive comments. I just try to spend time with those that are supportive and distance between me and those that aren't. No sense in others adding to the disappointment that I already feel.

Hang in there! It is tough each month and can get worse the longer it takes.

How do you deal with the disappointment?

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