how would you handle this?!

Question

I'm completely lost. I feel like a failure to my daughter. We've had the talk about someone touching you in a uncomfortable way, touching private parts or even just touching you to much in ways that make you feel unsafe. Today my 8 year old daughter was in our playground club house with the neighbor. He's 9.5. When I told her it was time to leave to go to my fiancée and see them they both got down and she came with me to the car. Normally I don't worry about the kids being out back with me not outside. I can see them from anywhere in my home except bedrooms, which I was not in I was in the living room that looks directly to the backyard. Anyway to the point. My daughter played her dragon game the entire car ride. As we sat by the camp fire she wanted to listen to Blake Shelton which she needs help bringing up videos when Siri doesn't understand what she says. So I went to help her and found that the second to last thing open was PORN! Now my daughter can't even search a music video without help. She uses her iPad for a few things, 3 games she plays, texting gramma, watching hobbykids and watching Blake Shelton music videos. That's IT. My daughter dies not watch anything above g rated movies and shows. She can't search things on her own. She asks Siri or us for help usually us because she dies not speak clear enough for Siri. I am completely beside myself. My daughter does not understand why I no longer want her to see or talk to the neighbor. I feel like I failed her. Like she was scared to stop the video sooner and show me. Either fearful of my reaction or his. Now I'm not perfect but I always talk to her calmly about important matters, all matters. How would you approach the other parents? Is my question bum so lost. I haven't been able to yet and now it's to Kate after 1am. I plan on going over tomorrow and including that I found not calmly talk today. But I don't know how to say that they need to talk to their son about showing my daughter PORN. Any advice on how you would speak to the other parents is appreciated. I'm not normally this uncomfortable but being pregnant is taking a toll on everything for me. Add that to being upset, disappointed, ashamed that my daughter couldn't come to me. I don't know what to say. Thank you in advance, again any suggestions advice is greatly appreciated. 
UPDATE: thank you all for your comments and advise. Her iPad dies now have very strict restrictions. My neighbors are placing blame on my daughter. Who I said to them as well can not search for a music video even knowing what app to open. She needs assistance. My daughter is in a special education school although she excels in math she is far behind in most curriculum. Her teachers have to help her when using the tablets. We help her at home. I just then stated that I was not trying to place blame. My concern is the kids and what they saw how it affected them. Again I'd like to thank you all for your input it really did help me in approaching the matter in a calm fashion. We agreed that the kids should not spend time together from now on.

Answer

I would speak with your daughter first. Find out what happened but then you will have to go talk to his parents. Like the other poster said talk to them with judgement because I'm sure they will be shocked. I'm guessing the little boy didn't do it with malicious intent but rather curiosity like kids are that age. I would also work in putting parental controls on the iPad and having your daughter not take it out to play......kids are much more tech savvy then we realize.

Answer

Before talking to his parents, you need to discuss it with your daughter.  Ask her about it and ask her what she saw.  She is probably confused and needs reassurance that she isn't in trouble.  Also, be 100% sure that it was the neighbor that pulled it up.  Ask your daughter if he did it.  
Chances are the parents will get defensive and they will ask their son about it.  You need to know for sure before accusing their son.  
I'm soooo sorry this happened!! As a mom, I wouldn't let my daughter around that boy either. I'm sure he is innocent and curious, but I completely hlunderstand not wanting your daughter around him anymore.

Answer

I'd assume 9 year old boys don't just look up porn either. (That's only a year older than your 8 year old) I'd be more concerned both children have stumbled across the video/website, and they both have been exposed to unsuitable images. You need to contact the little boys parents to inform them of what they have both been exposed to but I definitely wouldn't go into that situation assuming the little boy was purposely searching for porn online. One click always leads to another online, and before you know it, you're in the dark depths of google!  Definitely invest into some partental controls though and good luck

Answer

Just start off by saying that you have something uncomfortable to talk to them about, and tell them what happened. Just be honest and up front.

Explain that you understand that their son is a child also, and that everyone makes mistakes, but his actions are nevertheless inexcusable and not right. Make sure to come from a place of empathy and not from a place of judgement, even if you feel like screaming! Because they will only get defensive and think it's a personal attack on them and their parenting skills, when really you want a resolution. Their son clearly has been shown this material by someone older than him, so they may be just as concerned for his well being as you are for your daughter.

You're not in a position where they have to play together, right?

Answer

Thank you. I assume that his older brother could be looking it up. And that's how he came across it. I've already had to have very uncomfortable talks with his parents about the older brother. Due to him trying to get my daughter to take her clothes off and kiss him when she was 2. At that time I was right there and I stopped it. And talked to them immediately. No she has other options. There are about 8 other family homes in our neighborhood so I told her she's allowed to play with the other children she normally does.

how would you handle this?!

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