Fingers Crossed

Is anyone else out there terrified to take a test this month and get a BFN? I'm 9dpo and have been really good about keeping more calm and stress free by not thinking about it but now as the days get closer and I'm experiencing some possible symptoms I'm getting anxiety. I just want a positive so bad..I have a Doctors appointment in mid may to discuss our trouble conceiving but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can switch it to a more happy appointment lol