If someone says they're going to commit suicide or says things that make you think they will, is it the right thing to try to help them?

Question

I always assumed yes it's the right thing, but apparently not everyone feels that way! 
My SIL called last night, hysterical because her boyfriend seems to be breaking up with her (not going to lie, it is her fault 100% because of the way she is, you'd understand if you knew her) and she thinks he probably has a girlfriend. So she's saying all kinds of things like "take care of my cats for me once I'm not here to anymore" "no ones going to miss me" and the like. All very clearly hinting she was going to kill herself. Then she just gets off the phone and we can't get ahold of her, neither can her mother. We live 3 hours away so we couldn't have went to check on her, and her mother didn't seem too concerned so she was just like 🤷🏼‍♀️ "couldn't stop her if that's what she wants to do anyway". 
So we called her boyfriend, who she lives with to have him make sure she's okay. He said she was fine and we let him go back to bed since he had to be up for work in a few hours. Now my SIL is pissed off and saying we shouldn't have said anything and blah blah. 
So do you think it's the right thing to try to help someone, or have others help if you can't, when they are saying they're going to kill themselves or you believe they want to because of their behaviors/statements?

Answer

Saying those types of things are...

A) For attention, which is just wrong
B) They are serious, and need to talked down

So by you saying something they are getting exactly what they wanted....Attention. If someone is serious about killing themselves they typically won't say anything at all in fear of being stopped or talked out of it.

Answer

Yes HELP THEM and genuinely saying such things even if she did not plan to kill herself is still a cry for help for whatever mental issues she faces.
If her boyfriend wasn't there to check then you CALL THE POLICE.  It's a very serious matter and shows it is not a joke in her hands or yours. She could have been killing herself or already dead.

MENTAL HEALTH FIRST AID (ALGEE)
Assess risk of harm to self or others 
Listen nonjudgmentally
Give reassurance and information to
Encourage APPROPRIATE PROFESSIONAL help
Encourage self help and support services

Although a touchy topic, YOU CAN ASK ABOUT SUICIDE. Asking is not going to put the idea in their head and people looking for a way out will take it. Have a conversation about how they are feeling - you don't have to jump right into the topic - then ask the question.
- I'm worried about you.
- How have you been feeling lately?
- Have you thought about harming yourself? Or other people?
- Do you have a plan to do this?
- You're not the only person to have ever thought about this. There's always a way to go help.

Encourage PROFESSIONAL HELP. You do not have to be the doctor or the person responsible for guiding them. You have done your part as a first responder to this mental health crisis. You can also provide the suicide hotline so they can talk to someone helpful; just google it for your state/country.

Answer

I would rather say something and end up with them being pissed off than not and them commit suicide. I can deal with someone being mad at me, I could not deal with knowing I said nothing and if I had maybe that person might still be here.

Answer

I still think you did the right thing. Sometimes mental illness can make people push their loved ones away and claim they "don't need their help" even when they do deep down.

Answer

I don't know. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I have definitely done the same thing she has done. Was it for attention? Yes. Did I need attention? Yes. And I was embarrassed the next day and regretted doing it. Not saying it's right, but if someone needs attention, there could be a bigger issue there. They might just be manipulative and wanting attention but you never know. Back in the day I'd say the same kind of crap. I'd call my friend and say shit like "make sure you give my card to my boyfriend" or something stupid like that because I knew she would call my boyfriend and have him come over. Yes I think you should do something in instances like that. I think a lot of people just want to see that someone cares. I did. I will say that when I made statements like that, I was less serious about suicide. It wasn't right for me to do, but I still needed help. The other times, I didn't want help because I wanted to commit to it.

Answer

I'm.. pretty sure there's even legal consequences for not doing anything in that situation?? 
It doesn't take much, he'll even all it takes is an anonymous call to police and they will take it from there to make sure the person is safe and probably hospitalise them.

Answer

Yes u did the right thing. Yes, it was for attention but dont disregard because of that. always help.

Answer

If by help you mean tell someone who can help, yes!

Answer

Anybody else yeah il try to help! My mother on the other hand is just alot of talk and threats in attempt to manipulate me

Answer

Call 911, they'll go over and do a wellness check and measure if she's an actual risk to herself and most likely put her on a hold based off what she said to you. You're not a psychiatrist. It's a quick way to sort out those who are serious and those who want attention. She may be mad, but a mad is better than dead.

If someone says they're going to commit suicide or says things that make you think they will, is it the right thing to try to help them?

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