i shouldn't have told him to go 😔

so i'll try to sum up the living situation but it's really weird so bare with me. I go to college in state but it's an hour away from home and I go home on the weekends, my boyfriend stays in the area, about 10 minutes from my campus, because of work and he also goes home on the weekends to his dads house. His place where he lives near my school isn't technically his house, his dads girlfriend owns the house and she lets him stay here because it's close to his job and she's never here, but anyway since he is so close and I HATED staying on campus I would always just stay with him during the week, we would both go home on the weekends and hang out with friends because we were together the whole week, then just repeat the cycle. Anyway moving on, it's thursday night and i have class but he doesn't work on Friday's, usually we both leave on Friday. But tonight he asked me if I would be upset if he went home early because all of his friends were together and they were hanging out and he hasn't really gotten to see them lately, so I said go ahead it's ok. I mean… I know he could tell that I was upset about it because he kept saying I was acting like I was, but I just kept telling him I was fine. I told him to go because I know he misses his friends and doesn't get to see them as much as he would like and I didn't want to tell him he couldn't go be with them when he clearly wanted to, but I just HATE being alone. When I first left for college I cried EVERYDAY for at least the first three months I was there because I was away from home and all by myself, and since he left I've just been all worked up again. Like crying to the point I'm panting to breath, I would've just gone back to campus so I could just get up and go to class without having to drive to school and at least I'd have my roommate, it's no where near the same but I wouldn't be COMPLETELY alone, but our finals are next week and I've already moved all my stuff out so my bed at school is just a mattress. now I'm laying in bed all by myself crying and hating myself for not asking him to stay with me, and not mad but disappointed that he didn't just take the hint that I didn't want to be alone. I know it's not his fault, I told him to go even though I didn't want him to, I just didn't feel right keeping him from his friends. I know it's really stupid for me to be laying in bed crying because I'd have to spend one night by myself, I just needed to vent a little.