Have to choose btwn BFing and meds... Please advise... im crying...

I don't know what to do ladies. Only other mothers can understand this. My son is 2 months. I'm not like crazy about BFing but I do love the closeness. His little face against me, hands on my chest... seeing his little face get all excited when he sees the boob coming at him...

I stopped taking medication when I got pregnant for my ADHD. I'm having a really hard time now and I'm not doing the best mom job I can. But there aren't enough study showing that stimulant medication is safe for the baby while breastfeeding. So combining the two isn't an option in my mind .

So I need to decide... Do I give up breastfeeding and function better as a mom and feel better?

It sounds like such a simple decision. But then I think about never experiencing that particular intimacy with him again and my heart stops. I'm crying in the grocery store parking lot just thinking about it as I type this.

I don't know what to do.

I have to give up one set of precious memories either way. either the feeling of breastfeeding or the feeling of being a sufficient mother to him when he was young.

Has anyone else had to make this kind of choice?