Need to rant and need advice 😥

I'm gonna warn you all really quick this will probably be kinda long and it might be all over the place. 🙁 I'm having major baby daddy troubles. Let's start off by saying I used to be really in love with this guy. And everything was great until last summer. He was into drugs really bad and one time when i tried waking him up he wrapped his hands around my throat. Once he also said "im going to push you down the stairs. the last major thing he did was cheat on me. I ended up forgiving him, we got back together, and I found out I was pregnant. (Not planned, but could've been way safer) I ended up having a miscarriage very early on. He did not help pay any of the doctors bills for it even though he said to my family he would. His sister said that there was no proof that it was his child and that he could easily say that I was a hoe and there wouldn't be any proof that I wasn't. As foolish as it was I didn't want him to have to pay the bills because I wanted to protect him. He also didn't have a job at that time and did not get one until middle of this year.

Fast forward to the end of 2016 and I found out I was pregnant again. I was on birth control this time however. Everything was fine in my relationship until I got fed up with the father of my child, because all he would do was sit around and smoke pot and wouldn't find a job. I kept asking him to at least stop smoking pot, because I refuse to have that around our child. It's illegal here and I didn't want him to lose his rights. I ended up leaving him, but we maintained to have a good friendship. I thought that I'd try to make things work and everything was going great until he freaked out on me for making a joke about moving. He accused me of trying to keep his son from him, called me stupid, and some other bs. So we stopped talking for a while then decided we would try and make it work again.

Everything was going great until a couple of days ago. We got into an argument about names. Before I ever got pregnant I said if we had a boy he could name him and if we had a girl I could name her. Well, I had changed my mind once I got pregnant, but they still hold that over my head saying that I'm taking something away from him. I just wanted to find a first name that we both agreed on, because I wanted to like the name as much as him. We also had decided on a middle name which is my father's middle name, but I guess because I won't let him pick the first name he all of a sudden agreed to the middle name, because "he didn't want me to throw a fit and if he had it his way his sons middle name would be his middle name"

but that's not what really started the fight. What started it is because I want the last name hyphenated, but I wanted the last name to be his last name-my lastname. He said that wasn't going to be his last name and I said yes it was. He said I was selfish and his whole world came crashing down. I said that I have just as much as a right to give the child my last name and he does his. We stopped talking after that. I tried messaging him a couple of times but got nothing.

So his sister messages me the next day saying I'm being really selfish and making him feel like he's worthless and I'm leading him on. So I asked how. I've been loyal to him even though we weren't together, I have been trying my hardest to see him, and that it's ridiculous to call me selfish for not letting him pick the first name and to want to give the child my last name as well. But it's apparently his "God given right for the child to have his last name" and it should be my last name his lastname. (Also think its funny that they say its his god given right and hes so entitled, but when it came to the child i miscarried it was "theres no proof its his. He could say you"re a hoe) According to them I already chose the middle name, even though we both agreed on it, but now he only agreed to it so I wouldn't "throw a fit" like earlier. I told her i havent even gotten to enjoy this pregnancy, because I've been so stressed out. She told me it's my fault that I'm stressed. So I ended up changing my number, but keeping them all on social media in case they had questions about the baby. I just wanted one safe place to where I wouldn't be messaged getting called names. I just wanted to relax a little. Something I haven't gotten to do this entire pregnancy. However, I can already hear them accusing me of trying to keep the baby away from him, because I changed my number. I feel like it's something they'd do.

But he hasn't tried messaging me on any social media platform to ask how the baby or I am doing. He also has not offered to help pay any of the doctors bills this time around. I found that he's still smoked pot a couple of times. I told him to get his shit together and this was his last chance. He also said in the beginning, "please don't come after me for child support" I'm not sure if he's bought things himself for the baby though. But because he hasn't helped with any of this why is it he is so entitled to where he gets to name the child and I have no say? I'm the one who has been going through hell with being pregnant. He doesn't help at all. The only time he does something is when we get into a huge fight and then he'll buy me something to try and say sorry. I'm tired of these cycles. It goes from him being nice, to us fighting over something stupid, me getting called names, to us not speaking. I just wanted things to work out so badly for our child or we could at least be civil. I want him to be an active part in our child's life and for everything to be okay. I just don't know what to do anymore or how to stop stressing about him and his family. :(