should i tell him?

Question

ladies i need your help! my ex boyfriend and I are very close (in fact, we still have feelings for each other, but distance is an issue). we are "friends" right now, but we have both agreed to be transparent with each other on all matters. he has been upfront with me before: like when he told me he still liked me, or when he told me he started dating another girl (which didn't last long).
right now i have a sugar daddy (please no judgement!! 😰😰). this is my first time in an arrangement like this, we are communicating online and i've only been doing this for about a week.
here's the issue: i want to be transparent with him, but is this something /worth/ telling my ex about?? i would tell him if i started dating someone new, but this isn't exactly dating 😕 it IS however an aspect of my sex life. the only thing i am worried about is hurting his feelings or having this maybe change his view of me (although he is a feminist). should i leave it be or tell him? help!

Answer

Why are you being transparent in the first place? If you have feelings & want to get back at some point, tell him. And if he judges you then if you know you don't want to get back , good riddance

Answer

I mean it's up to you. But in my opinion, you guys did agree on transparency, so I think I'd tell him. Especially since y'all are just friends right now. Ultimately, though, if you're no comfortable with telling him, that's your choice. 
If it were him, would you want to know, or care if you found out another way later on?

Answer

If you agreed to be transparent, you should be.
But if he doesn't like it, then too bad. He cannot make that decision for you. You can sleep with whoever you want.

Answer

If you agreed to transparency you need to tell him otherwise it's not equal.

I have a feeling you don't want to tell him about your prostitution events because you feel negatively about it. Otherwise, why wouldn't you? Just to keep a secret? That doesn't seem transparent at all unless you're ashamed. And being ashamed or not about your prostitution is your own weight to bear, whether you are or not.

Answer

I wouldn't tell him unless you are planning on having a sexual relationship with him in the near future, and even then I would just say I'm sexually active. It's not his business if he's a sugar daddy.

Answer

If you agreed to be "transparent on all matters" then I don't know why you're even asking if you should tell him lol

Answer

Yes if that's your agreement however be cautious that not all guys are going to be accepting for multiple reasons. He could not be accepting of the act, he could be intimidated by the amount of money u make or your SD makes. These are things that I have faced when dating and doing the SD thing. Now as long as u have rules and understanding in place with your SD that u are not his property and ur ex bf is understanding of why u do it then ur honestly gonna feel so much better about it.

Keeping secrets usually ends badly either they come out at a bad time or u build up so much guilt you project characteristics on to someone who doesn't even have them to begin with (if that makes sense)

When I started dating my bf now, I told him that unless he can help me get out of debt, clear my record, and find me a job that can still take care of my bills then I would be happy to cut all SD off. If he was ok with being with me and continuing what I'm doing then there would be ground rules. Which I respect because at the end of the day I'm his woman. He has never asked for my money, he has never held this profession over my head nor has he tried to demonized or humiliate me for my decisions. And he's also free to do as he pleases. I'm considerably bi curious (at times I'm sexually attracted to women but I consider myself straight) if the feeling of "cheating" comes around we do it together. Mine and his agreement may seem extremely weird but it's working for us. I love and respect him and he's the same way with me

Answer

Dude you need to be on a reality show 😂

Answer

If you plan on ever getting back with him I think honesty is key. However, it may taint his judgement of you at the moment and he may not want to go there. If you were with him again in the future and told him then he may be quicker to get over it.

Answer

I feel like there's no way that telling someone you are a sugar baby won't result in them thinking differently about you.

should i tell him?

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